The End of an Era...

Today truly marks the end of an era. Today we had to put my 11-year old lab, Brooke, to sleep. She was diagnosed with diabetes earlier this summer. For those of you keeping tabs, this is the second dog we have lost in the last month. This is the first time in over 16 years that my family has not had a dog. Lizzy, Logan and Brooke have been with my brother and I as we grew up. We have had a dog in the house as far back as I can remember. Losing Lizzy three years ago was difficult, but nothing prepared us for this last month. 

My parents are questioning to get another dog. I said something about getting them a puppy for christmas, my mother shot me down. Losing a dog so tragically last month and then have to make the call to put Brooke to sleep this month was very difficult. Dave took both really hard. It's hard to think about whether we can get our own pets. I want my kids to have the experience of having dogs as they grow up, but they haven't designed a dog that lives as long as we do. 

But, we will remember the best of her, not her last months of illness. And the lovable, chubby puppy she will always be for me.

Wedding contemplations

So, as anyone who reads this knows, I succumbed and am planning a wedding for family and friends. I have opted to let go of my elopement dreams and instead deal with the stress that is the happiest day of my life. Now I am starting to have doubts. Not about my wedding, I love my fiance enormously. But about our honeymoon. 

Starting this process I had always considered elopement the best idea, because your honeymoon is built right in. Now, with an actual wedding, our honeymoon has disappeared into the distance. For one,  we are trying to organize this wedding with all the bells and whistles and therefore haven't really had time to think about a honeymoon. Also, with grad school starting, I only have three or four days off after the wedding before I have to be in class. And, of course, the obvious budget issues of the wedding itself. With flowers and meals and an open bar, we are extremely limited on honeymoon getaways.  Dave and I looked at flying to cities like San Francisco or Boston for a few days, but with limited travel times and dates that became expensive fast, not to mention the hotel costs. 

It's weird. I get that it's supposed to be all about the couple on their wedding day. But I've felt like it's been about everyone else since the beginning. People complaining about the food, the travel, the decorations. It's really all about pleasing your guests. And I guess it has hit Dave and I harder because we're paying for it. If my parents were footing the bill, then maybe it wouldn't bother me so much. But this is what we want on our wedding day, and people just don't care. So, now that I've changed random things to please others, I've spent my entire budget on the wedding and we don't really have much for the honeymoon. Which I always figured was the important part. 

I guess this is just bothering me because several of my friends got married earlier this summer. And they all went to Colorado or Mexico, or some really nice cruise. It's hard to watch the summer facebook collage of wedding photos go up. 

I know this is just me feeling sorry for myself, and now that I've gotten it down, I hope that will help me move past it. Words of wisdom are always nice, but most people just tell me the horror stories of their wedding. It's interesting how that is where most people go to. But, as much as I am looking forward to my wedding day; I also just can't wait until it's over.